Ryan most difficult enterprise led him to think in divorce, his mistake was ignoring a thing no one speak about.

Ryan is an American ex-soldier from the U.S. Army living abroad.

He was very young when the army sent him from Illinois, to one NATO military base in Germany. There he met his wife, Klara. Then his priorities changed.

He wanted a family life with Klara.

So he left the army.

They both grew adult living in the same house, but each one on its own.

Why? Because Ryan is an American soldier mindestet, and Klara is German.

And? That's the reason they matched and the reason of their problems.

• Soldiers are meant to do what they have to do. No feelings involved. just pure straightforward effectiveness.

• Germans learned to disconnect from their emotions due to historical reasons. They needed to manage the hard reality they lived, they needed to rebuild their country two times.

Till now, it seems a similar mindset, but marriage problems rose as old global wars.

Few countries on earth have shown that level of commitment.

There was a time in Germany when people finished their job, went home to dinner, then went back to help rebuild the streets and clean their neighborhoods, their cities, their country - no payment for that.- That’s something remarkable.

Though this situation created a side effect inside the people. One that Klara has, but she ignores it. A strong psychological bias against change.

And it´s normal.

Rebuilding themselves from destruction and tyranny took a lot from them in every aspect of life.

Recreating a safe country, a functioning social system, and a more or less secure political environment that would ensure stability was a massive struggle. And it remains in the memory of the German families. Include Klara´s family.

I faced this psychological bias in the work environment in Germany.

Short story: OCC Manager:

“Let´s change nothing, because it´s working.

It's working badly, it could be better, but it still works.

Yes guys, I understand you all. You´re screwd. But is working that way. So why should we change it?

Yeah, you just need to remain screwd for ever.”

They didn't see my value, nor the chances to improve the workflow. They - the company- only saw our value in relation to making a mediocre sysem works.

This was the approach Klara took to save her marriage.

keep the things as they are because “at least, in this frustrating way, we stay together”.

In her vision, under this side effect of the German cultural code, changing a thing in the dynamic with Ryan could mean the end.

You might think “WTF!”

But for Germans, it did make sense.

When you understand their history and the reasons behind such approach, it made sens also for you. Although you won´t share it.

On the other hand, Ryan is American.

Acording with Clotaire Rapaille, American cultural code is about to move, eternal teenager society. Understanding U.S.A history will lead you to figure out the reasons.

Americans are about to do: Let´s do something. Doesn´t matter what. Never is too late to succeed, KFC made it in his 60s, so YES, you can, we can, make yourself great again, MAGA, and so on.

Ryan wanted to do anything to save his marriage.

What to do? doesn’t matter. If it does not work, we try out something different.

• Chat GPT partnership therapy

• systemic therapy

• astrological couples coaching

• ayahuasca

• whatever…

You can foresee that triggers -like hell- Klara´s bias against change. In her German vision it is too risky. So she pulled back in every creative manner a woman can find. She blocks any attempt of Ryan to make things work again.

Imagine how frustrating this is for Ryan.

In his eyes, maybe yours too, it seems like Klara wants the marriage to end up in a slow, painful, and frustrating way.

In fact, she is trying to protect and make the marriage work in the only way she knows how. The German cultural code way.

Think about how frustrating this is for her.

Now imagine you have such a situation, but with your German business partner. Or your American business partner. How would you solve it?

Running away ain´t an option when your future is at stake.

Less than one week ago, in the office, Ryan told me the struggles with his wife had turned harder than ever before. He is really thinking about the divorce.

I told him:

-Buddy, you know what to do. I already told you about it, when you mentioned your wife is Gemrna. Remember?

-So, “Just do it-”

And I will tell you what to do. Once you subscribe below, it's free for now.

Ryan only needed a small twist in the communication with his wife to ease the situation. He was aware of the cultural differences.

But knowing is not enough.

Same with business.